Should I get you some Aloe Vera?  Cuz you just got buuuuuuuuurned!

Most of us have left the days of slathering up with baby oil to lay on our tinfoil mats behind us...but lets face it, a lot of us still enjoy getting our tan on...especially at the beach.  Obviously none of us lay out with beef jerky-like goals...ummmm...

But the reality is that sometimes we end up burnt

I'm going to pause now for the people reading this that know me personally so they have have a good laugh at the fact that I'm discussing sunburn.  For those of you that don't know me personally, I have had sun poisoning on a number of occasions and it's NOT pleasant.

This blog isn't about preventing sunburn because duh, SUNSCREEN, but instead about what you may not know about sun burn and what to do after you've gotten extra tasty crispy.

Here are some things you might not have known:

• Higher SPFs don't protect you BETTER, they protect you for LONGER
• YES, you CAN burn your lips (done it!)
• SEVERE sunburn can also include symptoms like fever, chills, swelling and body aches (done that too)
• No sunscreens are truly waterproof, it should be applied every 2 hours and adequate full body coverage for an adult is approximately 1oz. (2 tablespoons)
• Once out of the sun you continue to burn until you cool your body down (cool shower)...think about it, when you take food out of the oven, it continues to cook!
• Just because it's cloudy doesn't mean you can't get burned

All of that being said and since I'm a professional sunburner, here a few of my favorite products:

Banana Boat Aloe After Sun Lotion: I have a close personal relationship with this product.  The smell seriously reminds me of my childhood.  I have have been using this since birth haha.  This lotion contains aloe to cool the burn and other ingredients that seem to convert the burn to tan more quickly and extend the life of the tannage.

Hawaiian Tropic Lime Coolada After Sun Lotion:  This is very similar to the above, but not as thick of a formula.  It smells great!  Same benefits all around.

Banana Boat Aloe After Sun Gel:  This is more for a serious burn.  It's a light gel and again...reminds me of childhood.  I think I'm 1/10th ginger, I burn so easily!  

Banana Boat Sooth-A-Caine: I've had to use this a few time when I was blistered so bad I couldn't stand to rub anything on my skin (yeah yeah I know I know).  This contains Lidocaine, which is essentially a topical anesthetic...shit is hard core.

Welp, there you have it...don't get burned, but if you do...TAKE ACTION.  You do NOT want to blister, peel and crack in all the bends of your body...DONE IT.

DIY Makeup Remover Cloths...yes I'm serious!


OK, so I'm not a fan of store bought makeup remover wipes/cloths/towelettes for a few reason...they're too small so I use about 100 to get my face clean, they usually sting my eyes and aren't contact friendly, they're too dry and they're pricey!

So I researched high and low to bring  to you my favorite recipe for homemade makeup remover wipes.

Ingredients:

1 Roll of Paper Towels (I really like VIVA because they're more clothlike...softer and thicker without being abrasive)
4 Cups of Warm Water
1 Tablespoon of Tea Tree Oil
2 Tablespoons of Oil (Vitamin E, Coconut, Moroccan/Argan...anything marketed for healthy skin, I used coconut oil because that's what I had and it smells delicious)
2 Tablespoons of Gentle Cleanser (I used J&J Baby Shampoo, it's tear free! Should be something super water soluble, not like a face wash)
Sharp Knife
Airtight Container (deep enough to hold a half roll of paper towels, I just used Tupperware)

Instructions:

1. Cut roll of paper towels in half (or smaller if you want smaller wipes or have a smaller container), a sharp non-serrated knife works best.
2. Place towels in container (it's ok if they are a little taller than the container because once they're wet they'll smoosh down).
3. Mix the water, tea tree oil, desired oil (if you have coconut oil solid make sure it's fully melted and before adding to water) and cleanser and pour over paper towels.
4. Replace lid and gently flip container repeatedly to fully saturate the towels.
5. Open container and remove cardboard core from paper towels (this should slide out fairly easily after a few wiggles since it will be wet).
6. Pull your towels from the center just as you would store bought cleaning wipes in a tube, they will tear at the perforation and won't get tangled up.

It's seriously that easy.  I made my first batch and love it!  If you are nervous about the end product being something you'll like, wait until you have a half empty roll of paper towels and make a small batch until you find a recipe you really like.  Experiment with different oils and cleansers.

One thing I will say is that the Tea Tree Oil is essential because when you're using tap water, the towels can start to mold and the TT Oil prevents that.  If you don't want to use TT Oil, be sure to use distilled water to prevent molding.

Tea Tree Oil is great for breakouts: One study found tea tree oil to be just as effective as benzoyl peroxide, but without the negative side effects like redness and peeling.

Argan Oil is the new hot product on the market: Marketed to reduce acne, brown spots, cellulite and stretch marks and increase firmness and prevent signs of premature aging.

Coconut Oil smells great and has a kabillion benefits: Reduces redness and brown spots, prevents dry scaly skin, and is a rich source of Vitamin E.

For all the tree huggers, you can totally do this with all organic products.  For the mom's the recipe can be modified to make homemade baby wipes.


I'm going to modify this recipe to make homemade eye makeup remover pads (I like them for traveling) using all of the same ingredients (in lesser amounts obviously) and these cotton pads, which are like a buck at CVS...

STR8 HAIR...getting it right

If you are straightening your hair regularly (and a lot of us are), I absoluuuutely recommend that you invest in a high-end straightener/flat iron.  When it comes to flat irons, you get what you pay for.

A few things I would highly suggest:

• NOT purchasing your hair straightener at a place like CVS, Target, Walmart, etc.
• Plates smaller than 2" (bigger is not better, even if you have long hair): Once you start getting into 2" plates it's hard to get to the roots and maintain adequate pressure for optimal straightness
• Floating plates: These are plates that depress based on how much hair you have in between the plates.  This allows even sufficient pressure for straightening.
• Wrap around plates: This means your plates have a curved edge around the back of the iron itself...this is great for using your straightener as a curling iron.
• Ceramic plates: Tourmaline, Sapphire or Titanium.  These provide even, less damaging heat.Adjustable temperature:  Different hair types require different temperature, your hair should not be SMOKING.
• NEVER EVER use a straightener on wet hair and I do NOT recommend steam-based irons that suggest it's ok to straighten wet hair...even my own straightener says damp to dry straightening is ok, but I still wouldn't recommend it.
• Using a hair straightening serum, spray, protectant...SOMETHING...ANYTHING!  Your hair is not meant to be crushed into compliance on a daily basis, you need to protect it.

I use the Solia Tourmaline Ceramic Ion Flat Iron with 1 1/4" plates.  This is one of FOLICA'S TOP 10 FLAT IRONS.  Uh also, Folica is the SHIT.  I get all of my styling tools from this site, you get freebies with your orders and they have sales all the time!

Anyway, the Solia straightener has wrap around floating plates, amazeballs...looks like this:

Some straighteners have a combed edge so that it combs your hair first and the iron flattens behind it.  While I have tried and don't like this type of straightener, it does teach us one thing and that is proper straightening technique.  You should not be taking giant chunks of hair and squeeze and pull it into compliance, you should not be twisting your hair, and you should definitely not feel pulling, ripping, or snagging of any kind.  Smooth plates with proper technique should have a silky smooth slide (anyone turned on? or just me? ok then).

THIS is what proper hair straightening technique looks like:

OK, so now you're thinking, how the hell am I gonna do that to myself?  It's not as hard as you'd think.  I typically do what I call a "rough straighten" and then use this comb technique to achieve that final smoothness.  You want to make sure you are using small, smooth, flat sections if you want all your hard frizz-free work to last.

Humidity is the devil, we all know it...but proper technique with a good iron and quality smoothing product helps immensely when it comes to a straight look that lasts.

As far as products, I hear a lot of concerns that certain products weigh hair down or make it look greasy, or that it doesn't look any different whether a product is used or not...trust me, you want to find a product that works for you.

Quick Tip: Thinner/lighter products (i.e. sprays and thinner serums) are better for thin, fine, or limp hair or for those that just want more volume and thicker serums or balms/creams are best for thick, resistant, or super curly hair.

Speaking of products, there are a few that I really like:

Aquage SeaExtend Silkening Oil Treatment and Beyond Shine Spray - These are salon/professional grade products.  The oil treatment works as a fairly light straightening serum and the spray is a finishing spray that I use all over before I do one final run through with my straightener.  The spray smooths any flyaways and really locks in that final sleek look.  For those with thin hair the spray could be used alone as a super light smoothing product.

Beyond the Zone Straight Shot Serum - I was unaware that this was a pro-product because I bought it on a whim at CVS.  First of all, it smells AMAZING and I use it as body oil too since it was cheap!  I tried the balm and didn't like it it made it feel like I had put hairspray in my hair and brushed it out, you know that dry but still kinda sticky feeling.

Chi Silk Infusion and Biosilk are the 2 serums that really paved the way for other products.  You can get these anywhere, they really are the originals in my opinion.  These run on the thicker/greasier side so you really only need the tiniest amount.

Quick Tip: If your hair isn't super curly and you want to avoid the greaseball look, DO NOT apply product from root to tip, start about midway down through the ends

Tresemme, in my opinion, is one of the best and most underrated drugstore hair care brands.  They have an entire line of smoothing products, my personal favorite is Smooth Salon Silk No Frizz Serum.

I feel like, in general, SERUMS are the way to go...not too heavy, not too light.

Here's something you probably didn't know.  Salon brands (such as Chi, Biosilk, Biolage, Paul Mitchell, Nexus, Alterna, Tigi, etc.)...if you are not buying them from an authorized salon product distributor, you are not guaranteed the same formula.  Biosilk from a salon/pro-store is much thicker than what you'll buy at CVS.  It's almost like name brand v. generic.  FACT!  Don't waste your millions on salon or pro-brands at discount stores.

What about smoothing shampoo/conditioner?  All I can tell you is that, yes, they work.  However, some are better than others.  I have tried a few that leave my hair feeling like it's riddled with buildup.  My absolute favorites are the following:

Tigi Catwalk Sleek Mistique Glossing Shampoo and Calming Conditioner - This is a professional series that smells amazing.  I literally bought it based solely on smell!  Turned out to be a great product...I use this when I REALLY want my hair to be pin straight and last...or when satan turns Maryland into the Everglades.

and...wait for iiiiiiit

PANTENE, hey, at least it's not PERT PLUS...no but seriously I love Pantene, if angels had morning breath, it would smell like Pantene.  They have a Straightening Shampoo/Conditioner and a Smoothing Shampoo/Conditioner.  The only difference I noticed was that the smoothing one was a little less intense, it left my hair a little more voluminous on a day to day basis.

Don't be afraid to try products...you're not always going to find the best product for you the first time.  Take it to the extremes, if you buy a spray and hate it, try a balm...if you hate that too, serum is right down the middle and probably perfect for you!

Today...WE RANT...about MASCARA!
which means MASK in Spanish...not sure why I felt that was relevant, just wanted you to know I'm bilingual


I don't often come across a product that I detest.  I'm talking its mere presence in the store makes me want knock the whole display over in a fit of rage.  


First, some history...I know I know I hate it to, but stick with me here.  


In 1915, an American named T. L. Williams noticed that his sister Mabel colored her lashes with a petroleum jelly called Vaseline, mixed with coal dust for color (um gross). He began to package and sell the product, calling it Maybelline.”  By 1932, Maybelline was being packaged and sold in retail stores nationwide for (brace yourselves) 10 CENTS!  In the 1960s Maybelline introduced Ultra Lash, which was waterproof, and the first mascara to have the familiar tube/brush application process.  Finally, in 1971 Maybelline introduced the world to GREAT LASH, which is still the #1 best selling mascara in the marketplace.  A tube of this horseshit crosses a retail checkout scanner every 1.5 seconds!  

They have made improvements to the line in an attempt to keep up with the trends in mascara over time...different formulas...different brushes...revamped packaging, but still the familiar pink and green tube that really grinds my gears.

While I applaud Maybelline for being the #1 makeup brand worldwide (as far as sheer number of purchases), I STILL HATE GREAT LASH with a furious passion!


When I see Great Lash in the store, I see one of two things -- 1980s woman frantically pumping the tube and applying coat after coat to achieve an insane degree of waterproof tarantula lashes before hitting the gym and Motley Crue knowing the importance of a crappy mascara that dries like cement on your eyelashes, and thus holding up through rockin out, boozing up, and passing PTFO-ing.

All of that being said, I have a few tips and suggestions that I shall now force upon you.


Understand a few things: 

• Models are ALWAYS wearing false lashes in mascara commercials, sad but true...don't expect your mascara to work miracles, but do expect it to at least do what it says it it'll do (i.e. curl, lengthen, thicken, etc.).
• Waterproof mascara IS waterproof, which means it's a bitch and a half to take off.  You should NEVER sleep in waterproof mascara, it hardens and dries your lashes, making them brittle and next thing you know you're molting like a penguin in the summer.  If you want the benefits of waterproof with easier removal, apply regular first and then coat with waterproof.
• Curl BEFORE you apply mascara, this opens up your eyes.
• Don't use mascara if it STINKS or is discolored...usually means it's bad.
• Don't use mascara if it's dried up or if you find yourself applying a ton of coats before you notice a difference.  Mascara should be WET.
• Don't pump your brush, this forces air into the tube, thus drying it out and promoting bacteria growth.
• You should toss your mascara every 3 months (ideal) or every 6 months at the MOST (for my stingy bacteria breeding makeuppers)
• For the most intense lash look, ALWAYS use 2 different kinds of mascara (doesn't matter which 2, I sometimes use 3 or 4).  Great tutorial (notice how she's bent her first brush to achieve a perfect angle for herself, the brushes are pliable for a reason!):

• Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle YEAH! side to side at base and pull through length of lashes.
• Don't let your mascara dry in between coats, this leads to clumpy tarantulas...clumantulas if you will.
• For long squirrely lashes, use a microfiber brush, it makes it easier to comb out your lashes as you apply.  I am absolutely a fan of the microfiber (plastic-y) brushes.
• Eyelash primers WORK! Priming your lashes makes them thick as all hell.
• Lash fiber mascaras WORK! These mascaras have little fibers that cling onto your real lashes to make them look longer and fuller.  You can keep building til you're satisfied.

I am a mascara hoarder, like full blown problem.  At any given time I probably have 15 different mascaras that serve difference purposes.


LASH STASH FROM SEPHORA: At Christmas time (even though available year round), I always buy the annual Lash Stash.  For $32 you get 10 deluxe sample sizes of their best selling mascaras.  When buying higher end mascara, I ONLY buy deluxe sample sizes so that they don't get old and crusty before I get to use them up! This is a great investment for someone who isn't sure what they want.


LANCOME CILS BOOSTER XL SUPER ENHANCING MASCARA BASE: This is a great primer that can be use with ANY mascara.  Priming your lashes makes them look more luscious and prevents then from flaking.  Cheaper alternative: I'd be lying if I said I found one I'd recommend, or even found one period.  Most drugstore brands are combining their primer/mascara into one dual ended product (on to the next one, on on to the next one).


LORAC SPECIAL EFFECTS: Primer and mascara combo (dual-ended).  Microfiber brush in combination with primer give you an intense lash, but honestly, skip it for the Cheaper alternative: L'OREAL DOUBLE EXTEND BEAUTY TUBES: I love love love this and it's affordable.  Kind of odd at first because you apply the primer, which is white and then the mascara and it's like little tubes hooked onto your real lashes.  It's like waterproof in that it won't smudge, run or flake, but removes with just warm water.  Removing is quite strange, you have to pull off the little fibers (it's almost rubbery).  If you want longggg lashes, this is great!


MAKEUP FOREVER SMOKY LASH: If you already have long lashes and want to achieve that super thick smoky look (think Kim K.) this one is for you.  Basic brush, but thick rich formula.  I always use this as my final mascara. Cheaper alternative: RIMMEL VOLUME FLASH SCANDALEYES: Rimmel is marketing way more than they used to and they have a full line of great mascaras, Scandaleyes definitely produces that lush, dark smoky look.


FAIRYDROPS SCANDAL QUEEN:  This is a fiber mascara, you can build build build until you are satisfied with the robustness of your lashes! Cheaper alternative: MAYBELLINE ILLEGAL LENGTH FIBER EXTENSIONS: I love this because of it's small brush, it allows you to reach those tiny baby hairs!


BENEFIT THEY'RE REAL: My most recent purchase and I love it!  Great brush for combing out lashes and reaching all the tiny corner lashes.  Super wet formula for rich lashes. Cheaper alternative: MAYBELLINE FALSIES: Spoon brush = great curl.  Very easy to fully coat lashes because it's easier to get right to the base of the lashes.  An excellent affordable mascara for those that want volume and length!


Honestly just go HERE and just look at some of the crazy ass brushes that are out there.  Givenchy's brush is a ball for god sake and Clinique High Lengths is an actual comb (for the record, I don't like the comb applicators...I feel like they get too clumpy and uneven).


So let's see I bashed Great Lash, which, let's be honest someone reading this is definitely a user (ABORT ABORT!).  Now let me bash a high-end brand.  I am NOT a fan of DIOR Mascara.  Their brushes are ginormous and their formula is super dry...DISLIKE!


So I've been helpful and hostile.  Hope you've enjoyed :)

BREAKING NEWS: Blog is getting scaled back to just 3 times per week.  Not necessarily the same 3 days every week.  Guess you'll just have to check in daily  JUST IN CASE!

TODAY'S TOPIC: TOOLS OF THE TRADE

Let me start off by saying these are some of my favorite and most versatile brushes.  When choosing your own brushes, it's really just the shape/design that I am recommending, so don't freak out and go sink hundreds of dollars into brushes you may never use.

Ulta has 2 brands that I would recommend for anyone who is only beginning to delve into applying using brushes.  Real Techniques and Ulta Brand.  These are great brushes that are fairly inexpensive.

Sephora has various series of their own house brand brushes that are great.  They are a tad pricier than the two brands I just mentioned, but are ideal for an every day user that's not looking to invest in high end brushes. Including these dual ended beauties that are perfect for travel bags...

When it comes to high end, MAC is my absolute favorite.  The lushness of their brushes allows for a more rich application.  Basically I need to look like a drag queen and MAC helps...win!

I made this little beauty below so you could see some of my favorite brushes (again we're talking the importance of shape of brush when purchasing) and how I use them.

Not even gonna lie, I own at least 2 of each of these brushes (one for light colors and one for dark).  That angled brow brush, yeeeah I have 4.  The MAC239 shadow brush was my first high end brush...I remember the day I brought her home like it was yesterday ::tear::

You can see I'm partial to MAC and Sephora brand brushes and I like just about everything to have a long handle.  I've said this before DO NOT think you are investing by buying a travel set.  They are not made to the same standards as full-size brushes and will surely fall apart on you.

Quick Tip: Face brushes are almost always used in a circular motion, you should never be using a stroke motion (mind. in. gutter).  Eye brushes should be used in either a pressing (as if you are pressing the color into your skin) or and short stroke type fashion.  You should never be using a windshield wiper motion to apply your colors - OK, who just realized that that is EXACTLY how they apply their shadow??

CLEAN YOUR BRUSHES REGULARLY!!!!  Never submerge them in water (it loosens the glue that holds the brush together).  Every brand under the sub makes brush cleaner.  I use Sephora Daily Brush Cleaner for regular quick cleanings between applications.  I use baby shampoo for my thorough cleaning (swish brush through water/shampoo mixture and rinse, repeat until water runs clear, reshape brush and lie flat to dry).

DON'T STORE YOUR BRUSHES IN THE BOTTOM OF YOUR MAKEUP BAG!!!!  All of the grime and bacteria floating around in your bag are all over your brushes and now you're going to rub them on your face...GA-ROSS!

NATURAL v. SYNTHETIC: Natural (animal hair) is typically better for dry applications, while synthetic is for liquids.  Dual fiber brushes, obviously, would be for both.

Why do they give me applicators with my products if I'm not supposed to use them?! Uhhh, why are you reading THIS when you SHOULD BE WORKING!? I don't freakin' know.  All'z I do know is that those super tiny applicators, especially with blush and eyeshadow...my god...throw them out!

There are many maaany more brushes that I just don't use, I mean is anyone really using that weird fan shaped brush?!  I'm just saying the ones that I have mentioned cover the full spectrum of day to day application. 

Quick and to the point!

P.S. Many of my readers have purchased the Garnier BB Cream after I hyped that shit it like I was on stage with Snoop.  Two readers had two valid complaints and here are my thoughts:

• I feel like it makes me look greasy - try setting it was a translucent powder, because it's also a moisturizer it's going to eventually look oily, but once set with powder the powder will keep you looking matte
• It accentuates my pores - try priming your face first to create a layer to build upon, also set with powder...honestly, setting with a good powder hides just about anything

If anyone is still interested in trying this product, it's on sale EVERYWHERE this week!

Too busy for a full face?  Let's see how we can save some time...

Great suggestion from a reader!  Not everyone has the time or even the patience to set aside the full HOUR that it takes me to do my makeup (well when I do full face anyway).  I have some shortcuts that I use for workdays or if I just don't have the time...and even sometimes when it's just too damn hot to put on my mask.

For entertainment purposes, I'm going to a quick "instead of ALL THIS, do this" kind of thing starting from your base all the way through final touches.

FACE: Moisturizer, primer, concealer, foundation, powder, setting powder, bronzer, then blush...in that order.  That is my full face routine on a good day.  A couple of things I do to save time:

• Skip the moisturizer/primer/concealer/foundation and go with a tinted moisturizer.  FACT: I make my own tinted moisturizer because I just don't like a lot of the ones that are out there.  I like to mix mine about 1/3 moisturizer and 2/3 liquid foundation because I like a heavier coverage, but feel free to investigate your own proportions so you can find what's best for you.  Obviously the less foundation you use the lighter the coverage.  You can premix this and store it in a container so that it's at the ready.  You can also use mineral powder foundation (like Bare Minerals or Ulta Mineral Foundation) instead of liquid.  I've even added a little mineral powder bronzer to my concoction for that summery glow.  Too scared to play chemist in your makeup dungeon?  Try these tinted moisturizers: Laura Mercier, Smashbox, or Aveeno...yes I said Aveeno, they make great products!)
• Skip your ENTIRE FACE ROUTINE and replace it with BB Cream (I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH), it's as easy to use as face lotion!
• I have a problem with that end of the day greaseball look, so sometimes I just moisturize and apply some loose powder and bronzer.
• Have great skin already?  Skip everything but moisturizer and a touch of bronzer or blush.  You'll look natural and FRESH!
• Honestly, most people already skip blush altogether and I can't hate on that...it's a finishing product, you don't need both bronzer and blush on a day to day basis in my opinion.
• Setting powder?  Really Shelley?  YES!  I need to make sure my face lasts all day so I never skip it!  But I won't force that on you!  I suppose a setting spray would save time (I also use - Urban Decay - All Nighter) since you don't have to get a brush and all that, you just squirt it on evenly (that's what she said).

EYES: Primer, lid shadow, eyeliner, smudge, crease shadow, blend, below brow bone shadow, blend, outer corner shadow, blend, under brow highlighter, blend, mascara coat, mascara coat, mascara coat, mascara coat, clean up imperfections with Q-tip, touch up eyeliner...no I'm not kidding!  Save time...GO!

• Instead of eye primer just use the foundation you're already using on your face on your eyelids (DO NOT USE TINTED MOISTURIZER HERE).  I do NOT recommend not priming your eyes in some way if you are going to wear eye shadow/liner...it just won't stay all day.
• Skip eye shadow altogether and use a thick liner on the top lash line, maybe even get crazy and do winged or cat eye liner.
• Skip all the blending craziness by sweeping your entire eye with a light champagne or other neutral color, with or without eyeliner.
• Forget everything and just make sure you have epic eyelashes (I do this a lot for work)
• To reduce the risk of needing a massive clean up project around your eyes before you leave the house, stick to lighter colors and avoid any lower lash line stuff (mascara/liner)

EYEBROWS: Outline with pencil, fill with semi-permanent eyebrow corrector gel, set with brow powder, blend inside edges with spoolie, star at self in mirror for 10 mins making sure they are symmetrical. I realize most of us already have eyebrows and don't need to fill them in like crazy.  But one thing to remember is that the more eye make up you wear the more you need to make sure you have a robust eyebrow (I should have taken a picture of myself with full makeup and no eyebrow fill to demonstrate this importance haha).

• Skip all of the above madness and tame unruly eyebrows with a clear or tinted eyebrow gel.
• On days when I don't have time for full eyebrow fiasco, I use an eyebrow pencil/brush combo to fill in sparse brows - I absolutely LOVE Rimmel Professional Eyebrow Pencil in Dark Brown, it's only like $3 and I keep one in my purse at all times...along with a sharpener!
• A lot of you lucky bastards don't know the pain of dealing with shitty eyebrows and you can go directly to hell for that, but nonetheless, shave at least 5 mins off your routine.

LIPS: Buff lips to remove loose/dead skin (usually use an old toothbrush and a sugar/lip balm mixture I make), reverse lip liner, blend, lipstick, spend 5 mins trying to get my cupids bow to look even, blot, finish with lip gloss.  Go ahead, say it, I'm a complete lunatic...I understand.

• LIP BALM! Never, NEVER let your lips get chapped...keeping your lips moisturized with a good balm (and no we're not talking lip smackers) makes for a supple gorgeous lip without any lipstick/gloss at all, nude lips are IN for a reason!  If you don't know about Carmex, you better get in the know.  Hands down my favorite drugstore/cheapy lip balm.  I also love Rosebud Salve...we have a strange love affair, sometimes I keep her in the freezer, sometimes I use her on my elbows...kinky.
• Most people aren't wearing lipstick these days unless they want a long wear look, skip it and use your favorite lip gloss, because seriously, we're applying that shit 100 times a day anyway.

The bottom line here is that some of us just don't NEED a full makeup routine and don't need to spend the extra time.  Skip what you can, when you can!

This post had no pics (boooooriiiiing), so for your entertainment, here's what happens when you skip your ENTIRE morning routine

This photo is rated PG for Pretty Gross... find my eyebrows, I DARE YOU! 

OK OK so here I'm more dressed up and have actually fixed my hair so that adds to the difference, but still, my coworkers weren't nearly as frightened. 

I might get a few haters on this one, but I'm sorry, whether you have an amazing natural beauty or not, makeup still helps!

Your face is a delicious ice cream cone and cosmetics are the toppings...I mean c'mon yesss I'll eat the plain vanilla cone, but it's so much more scrumptious with sprinkles and syrups and nuts...definitely nuts...Nuts on ur face, cone, whatever.

Face wash isn't enough...and it's your FACE for god sake...TAKE CARE OF IT!

First things first...who here is washing their face with soap or body wash?  Go ahead and give yourself a firm slap to the face so we can move on.

I'm not going to get into basic face washes because most of us have one we love and use regularly.  I'm always blabbering about how to COVER your face...today I'm going to discuss some of my favorite skin care tools/products that go beyond basic face wash.

I personally like to do most of my face care outside of the shower so I can focus...for me, it's almost a ritual and I do my extensive stuff on Sundays (basically, I'm a total creep).

In a time not so far away I had insanely problematic skin...acne, dry skin, oily patches, clogged pores, massive breakouts, general disgustingness.  I was always inclined to get the harshest acne wash/scrub I could find.  Keep in mind that anything marketed as an "acne product" EVEN if it says "non-drying"...WILL DRY OUT YOUR SKIN.

I made the decision to stop using acne washes altogether about 2 years ago and I haven't looked back!  Your skin is exposed to the elements all day everyday and the best thing you can do is keep it moisturized and protected.

CLEANSING

I first want to mention this product from Abike (online and ALL HANDMADE).  I discovered this brand at a wine festival actually and have gotten several people HOOKED on Alata Black Bar Soap (haha-it looks like little slices of raisin bread...mmmm raisin bread)  

They also sell it in a liquid foam (I don't like this as much) and a soft paste (I want to try this, just haven't gotten around to it).  Their bar soap (although somewhat scary looking) is all natural and doesn't contain any of the stripping chemicals that most soaps contain.  You can use this all over, but I prefer to use it just on my face.  Because this is made up almost solely of moisturizing ingredients, it doesn't dry out your skin.  It leaves you with a squeaky clean face (I'm not kidding, my skin literally squeaks). This is marketed as a remedy for eczema as well, for people who might consider using it all over.  Not sure what else to say...I LOVE THIS SHIT!

p.s. Their body polish, body oils and shea butter products are orgasmic...everything they make smells sooooo good!  Support a small business and try their stuff.  Oh! and add them on facebook to take advantage of their promotions: ABIKE NATURAL 

This little devil is hard to find (I can only seem to find it at Ulta).  St. Ives Moisturizing Olive Scrub is a moisturizing scrub.  I'm a fan of scrubs...facial scrubs haha.  St. Ives makes the infamous Apricot Scrub that millions of people have used.  However, the "scrubby" part of that product is walnut shells and with its jagged edge composition you are really just scratching up your face...it's too much!  Totally realized I made 2 music references in this paragraph and if you can't find them be embarrassed of yourself.  You want to go for scrubs that contain synthetic scrubbies or softer natural scrubbies.  This product is great for sensitive skin because it's natural and contains no harsh or drying ingredients.  Also smells delicious...

Honestly, from here on out, assume everything I use smells delicious unless I say otherwise haha.

DE-GUNKIFYING

I'm bout to get reeeeal ghetto on this next product.  Queen Helene in the hizzouse.  I have used this product since middle school.  Mint Julep Masque, for me, is the ORIGINAL face masque.  Anytime we had facial parties (get your mind out the gutter), this product was THERE!  First wash your face then apply a layer to your entire face, avoiding eyes.  It's like having a million half eaten peppermint patties on your face...that cool intense tingly feeling is amazing.  You leave it on until it dries like clay and then rinse.  Your face feels like you're standing in front of an air conditioning vent in winter for a good hour.  Uh, plus it's mad cheap...like $3 and lasts forever.

Seriously, at this point, who HASN'T tried a Biore Strip?  Never ever buy the generics or other brands...I have tried most of them and Biore is hands-down the best one.  Also, splurge for the ULTRA, it contains tea tree oil, methol and witch hazel (the trend here is that I like things that make me tingle - don't judge me).  They recently changed the design of their packaging, which often means the old packaging is easy to find on clearance so keep a lookout!  

I always have these on hand and I use them on my nose and chin.  People who wear glasses all the time will sometimes get clogged pores where their glasses rub on their cheeks...great for that too!  You can really use them anywhere and they make nose and face strips, but the only difference is the shape and they are pretty interchangeable.  If you are skeptical...get ready to be amazed and maybe throw up...

TOOLS

Every brand on the planet is making some sort of facial buffer/cleansing brush type product.  The original and one of the most expensive is Clarisonic...although in their defense, this is their specialty and they have an extensive line designed for various skin care routines.  After an exhaustive google research fiasco, it would appear that the Olay Pro-X Advanced Cleansing System is just as good as a fraction of the price. Olay has great face products, period.  In my opinion they are the drugstore brand that most closely borders on being department store counter worthy.  I still use their original beauty fluid on occasion (mostly because it smells like my mom, awww)...I'm getting off topic.  So the purpose of this type of tool is to gently buff away dead skin, grime, etc. using the accompanying cleanser or really any cleanser you choose.  It's supersonic, meaning it doesn't spin, it vibrates, at 2 speeds.  It definitely provides a deep and more thorough cleaning than slathering your hands all over your face.  Would I invest in a Clarisonic, no.  Would I wait for the Olay one to go on sale or use a coupon...absolutely.

Neutrogena makes 2 face care tools that I have tried and I have thoughts on both.

The Wave comes in 2 styles (vibrating and sonic - sonic is a more intense vibration).  This is an OK tool and I'm not going to waste your time talking about why I do and do not like it, because I am IN LOVE with this next tool.  Neurogena's Microdermabrasion System is one of my favorite things to use weekly, besides my toothbrush (aahahaha jk jk).

I'm one of those people that will try anything even if it says it's guaranteed to burn a hole in your face, but don't be afraid of the word "microdermabrasion."  This tool is a great introduction into the world of buffing your face.  Instead of a permanent brush, this has disposable, pre-treated pads that you just stick on and get wet when you're ready to use it.  It has 2 sonic speeds and is obviously handheld, so you can really really make this as mild or as intense of an experience as you choose (I personally like to use the highest speed, saturate the pad with super hot water, and apply substantial pressure).  You'll want to buff small circles over your entire face (I even buff my lips!).  IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION with this product...you're face will feel soft and smooth instantly.  Be sure to moisturize afterwards (I use this before bed and use my night cream).  Safe enough to use once/twice a week.  I don't have sensitive skin, but do experience some redness, so be careful.  Don't go in guns blazing if you've never used a product like this before.

FOR THE RISK TAKERS

For those of you that want to try a legit chemical microderm product, Philosophy Microdelivery Peel is by far my favorite.  

I use this once every month.  It's a 2-step process.  First you apply the scrubby step and massage into face and then the Vitamin C & Peptide gel, which creates a foamy chemical reaction.  You definitely feel this product working.  It's a gentle warm tingling sensation to me, but might be more intense on more sensitive skin.  If something goes horribly awry, the effect ends immediately upon rinsing, so don't be toooo scared.  Philosophy makes several products like this, but this is by far my favorite and the least terrifying.

Quick Tip: You ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS want to use a facial moisturizer after using any of the products I mentioned.  However, I actually do not recommend applying your face lotion and then jumping right into your makeup routine.  Give it time to absorb so that your makeup doesn't get that greasy, end of the day look. 

FOR THE UNEXPECTED BREAKOUT

Again with the Neurogena!  I have tried just about every drug store acne spot treatment there is and Rapid Clear 2-in-1 Fight and Fade Gel is my favorite.  It's quick, it's clear, it's not AS drying as some of the other, but be forewarned...it smells like BigFoot's dick...but seriously, it stinks.  Once it dries the smell goes away, and it dries quickly.  You DO NOT want to apply this gel to your whole face, it's meant solely for treating individual pimples.  I've seen a major difference just overnight using this product.  Also, because it's got the "fading" ingredients, it makes it easier to cover up your spots with concealer.

Well, I hope you learned something or at least questioned your current routine (or lack thereof).  

"You look better without all that makeup" = You're doing it wrong

This might be a sensitive topic because, you just might be doing a lot of these things...shhh shhh don't be frightened.  You also may be thinking to yourself, ok so is this blog going to tell me that I need to start doing Shelley's chola eyebrows and wacky color combinations?  Absolutely not!  But there are several things that I highly suggest avoiding during your makeup routine and YOU ARE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT!

• Don't match your eye makeup to your outfit...just because you have on green pants and an orange shirt doesn't mean your eye should look like the top end of a carrot.  The point of your eye makeup should be to bring out your eyes.  No one ever says "oh that eye shadow really brings out your pants."  I'm talking extremes here, this is not to say that if you have on a black and white dress you can't do a black/white smokey eye.
• If you are doing a bold eye, DO NOT do a bold lip and vice versa...you should always have one area of focus.  Smokey eye with red/pink lip (in my opinion) works because even though the eye is dark, it's still relatively neutral.  You just don't want THIS...

• STOP BUYING TRAVEL BRUSH SETS.  I know it's tempting...they are all there, everything you need in one cute little set.  However, travel brushes are not made to the same standards as full sized brushes.  The quality is severely lacking.  If the hairs/bristles are falling out of your brushes, you've made a poor investment.  If you think you're safe because you always use the applicators/brushes that COME WITH YOUR PRODUCTS...you liable to get smacked.  NONE and I repeat NONE of the applicators/brushes that come with your products are sufficient...you're better off using your finger/hands.
• Now that I've said that, stop using your HANDS to apply your FOUNDATION!  You're hands are greasy little bacteria playgrounds and you're smearing that all over your face.  Not only does it prevent your foundation from setting properly, but it also is a horrible way to try to get uniform coverage.
• Nude lips are so YES and lips that are lighter than your skin tone (JLo) are so NO..that is all

It pains me to say this, but Kim K. is the QUEEN of nude lips.  Find the shade that works best for you (I use MAC lipstick in  Masque) and always top with gloss.

If you want to know what color Kim is wearing here, probably just check Kanye's weenis..ziiiiiiiiiiing

• 2 Words: TARANTULA LASHES.  When it comes to eyelashes we all wants them to be thick, long and luscious.  Here's a few Quick Tips: Never pump your brush, it adds unnecessary air to the tube, which dries it out and makes it clumpy.  The easiest way to create robust lashes it to layer 2 different kinds of mascara (doesn't matter which kinds, just as long as they're different).  When applying multiple coats do not wait for the coats to dry (this is why they clump).  Don't be afraid to comb out your lashes.  Always curl BEFORE your mascara (unless you have a heated curler lol yes I have one).  Letting your coats dry is the number one reason your eyelashes look like this...

• Speaking of lashes, most of us don't apply mascara to our bottom lashes because we don't want end of the day raccoonage (bout to copyright that shit).  I always do the bottom lashes.  Quick Tip: Use a waterproof mascara with a really small brush (I like Maybelline Lash Discovery Waterproof)
• If you're being photographed, avoid the shiny/shimmery face products, it just makes you look sweaty and/or greasy.  Also go easy on the powder, it makes you look ashy.
• Avoid pumpkin face at ALL COST!!  Learn how to blend your foundation, there should NEVER be a visible line at your jaw or near your ears!
• Pick the right color of concealer!  It should be 1, MAYBE 2 shades lighter than your foundation.  Remember, yellow toned concealers hide gray/purple (think under eye circles) and green toned concealers hide redness.  Rihanna looks great here, but her under eye coverage is wayyyy too light!

• Want to rock a really bright/dark lip style?  Invest in a product like Cargo's Reverse Lip Liner.  This prevents your lip color from bleeding into the tiny wrinkles/lines around your lips.  You apply it to the outer line of your lips and blend outward.  I use this product and love it.  Kind of a strange concept that you may not even know existed.
• Speaking of lip liner.  DO NOT EVER DO THIS...JUST DON'T...I shouldn't even need to explain myself on this one.

• Choose the right shade of blush and apply and blend it properly in the right area.  You shouldn't look like a clown and I shouldn't be wondering if you were just slapped in the face.  The color of the product NEVER looks the same on your face so don't be afraid to choose a color that you think might be too pink or too brown...TRY IT!  Nice job Christina...or not...wrong color, wrong area, no blending...looks like she got in a slap fight...honestly her whole face makes me sad.

I could go on for days, but those were some of the most important and most common things I see.  But NOTHING is as ASTRONOMICAL as this last one...

I'm going to address eyebrows and alllllll of the things that can go awry.  I realize that almost none of you would ever consider doing your eyebrows like I do and quite frankly may not even like the way I do mine (hi haters)...so I'm going to cover the basic threats plaguing the eyebrows of the world...

WRONG COLOR: If you change your hair color drastically, your eyebrows should be changed too!  Her eyebrows are way too dark for her hair.

WRONG SHAPE: This problem runs rampant!  We all obviously don't have pristine arches, but seriously!?  Her eyebrows are horribly shaped and too far apart!

WRONG LOCATION: Honestly, I'm not even going to hate on drawn on eyebrows, because she has a decent arch/shape, but uhh they are in the middle of her forehead.

UNNATURAL SHAPE: Let me rephrase...COMICALLY unnatural shape.  Are you kidding?  Drake, is that you?

CRAZY OLD LADY BROWS: Ohhh you've seen these...they area always orange, misshapen, strangely wet looking and appear to have been applied while jogging on a treadmill.

OVERLY STENCILED: These brows look like they were spray painted or crayoned on using a stencil.  Even when using pencil/powder to create or fill in your brows, they shouldn't look waxy.

EPIC UNIBROW: This will NEVER be fashionable...FIX IT!

WTF WERE YOU THINKING BROWS: At what point was she thinking "I look hot with these brows".  They are 2 little arches from hell.  Never should your eyebrows look like little rainbows.  My god...I can't say enough about these monstrosities.  

If your eyes are the windows to your soul then your eyebrows are the multi-million dollar window treatments.  Having a clean shaped brow is honestly one of the best cosmetic tips of all time.  Case in point...

I've fully berated you for things that I KNOW at least some of you have done...hell I've been a victim of some of these things myself.  The important thing is that you learn from your mistakes.  Don't be afraid to try new things, you never know when you'll discover your own Quick Tips!

WTF is BB Cream!?


I found myself in a Walgreens looking for a new heavier face moisturizer because when the seasons change my skin gets insanely dry.  While I did find Neutrogena Naturals Multi-Vitamin Nourishing Night Cream (and highly recommend the whole Neutrogena Naturals line), I also stumbled upon this new product that will be the focus of today's blog.


Let's all just relax...yesssss I realize I didn't blog on Friday.  My bad...I ducked out of work and decided to be a slacker all day, we can all relate.  As my boss reads my blog..."everybody who still has a job please stand up...Shelley, NOT SO FAST."


OK, so I actually didn't know was "BB Cream" was when I bought it and honestly didn't even realize that's what it was because all I saw was "Miracle Face Perfector" and knew I was going to make the $12 investment.  

We're talking about BB Cream by Garnier

Visit the link...you NEED to understand this product

This product is being heavily marketed as NEW to the U.S. market, which had me wondering where did it come from and why are we just now hearing about it?!

The short history of this products is as follows:

• BB = Beauty Balm.  Originally used by German dermatologists as an all-in-one product for sensitive skin
• Korean film stars started using the product as the "perfect cosmetic" and it made it's way to the non-so-star studded market in Korea (p.s. this product makes you camera-ready...uhh...enough said)
• At this point BB Cream is being used in Asian, European and Australian markets...we are basically the latest market to mainstream this product.

OK, so why Garnier?  Aren't they really known for their hair products?  Well kind of.  Garnier is the first brand to mainstream the product; however, Sephora carries a variety of BB Creams being sold as HD and Camera Ready Beauty Balms.  I love the Garnier one so much, I don't know that I'd invest in a more high end one, but if I did, it'd be the Smashbox version (mostly because I love their priming products and the 2 products are very similar).

Googling BB Cream or even visiting the Garnier link above will tell you all about what this product claaaaims it will do, but we all know we've bought a miracle product only to be as disappointed as I am in myself for liking the new Justin Bieber song (whatever you know you like his falsetto).  

So I'm going to tell you what I know about it:

• Cream to powder finish (almost identical to the feeling of a face primer)
• Essentially primer, tinted moisturizer and foundation all in one
• Best if set with some type of powder: I use MAC Studio Fix for a heavier coverage or when I'm having a bad skin day, but you could also use a translucent oil-free powder if you want light coverage (I use MAC Prep+Prime Transparent Finishing Powder, but a great cheaper alternative is Revlon, they have several great face powders/finishers; PhotoReady Translucent Finisher is my favorite!)
• Made of mineral pigments, so it's better as disguising pore than a tinted moisturizer
• Provides a flawless smooth finish and evens skin tone
• Not only a vitamin C based moisturizer, but it is also an SPF 15 sunblock
• Only comes in light/medium and medium/deep.  I've used light/medium on a number of people and it's highly universal, medium/deep would work on darker (think Latina and darker Asian type skin tones...at this point it is not available for darker skin tones)

Quick Tip: Save time in the morning and skip the moisturizer, primer, and foundation...BB Cream will give you all of those benefits and a smooth/even look in seconds.  Apply small (dime-sized) amount with hands, making sure you've covered your face evenly.  Give your face a quick dusting of translucent powder and finish with a little bronzer.  This routine has completely replaced my usual morning routine.

ANYONE who has said they like the "natural look" would fall in love with this product.  Hell, I never say I like the natural look but when I use this product, my face looks fresh to death...and bitches love fresh to death.

One friend said her husband said her face looked "cleaner" (regardless of what he said, the fact that a boy even noticed means you must have it lol)

One friend said she felt like it "accentuated her peach fuzz" (uhh problem! Solution?  Top your BB Cream off with a translucent powder instead of a tinted powder)

One friend said "OMG Shellz you are so awesome for loving Bieber", actually I just made that up, but someone should say that to me so I feel less insecure about my BieberFever.

If you are STILL not convinced, checkout the commercial below...oh and here's the other thing...because it just hit the market, they are pushing it hard...which meeeeans...it's really easy to find it on sale.  Although, really?  It's only $12.00...don't be such a cheap bastard!

Side note: Those Gillette and Gillette Venus razors that I mentioned in last weeks blog are on sale this week (4/29-5/5) at Target, CVS, Walmart and Walgreens...now's the time to try 'em out!